We sometimes think that when people don’t hear us, they are not listening. In my own life, I have found that often people are not listening because I am not sharing what I really want to say.
Let me tell you my story. Early in my life, I was very outspoken. At my five year old birthday party my friends did not want to play a game I wanted to play so I told them to go home. My mother pulled me aside and said “You can’t say these things. People won’t like you.” OH MY GOSH, people won’t like me if I speak my truth! Since being liked was important to me, I quickly learned to stop saying what I wanted or needed.
Fast forward to my adult life. I spent many years focused on people liking me and not asking for what I needed or wanted. What resulted was frustration and pain over a lack of “being heard”.
Many years later, I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. One day I was laying on the sofa tired and in pain. I was very sad and my husband said “Maybe you should ask others to help you. You give so much to others that others would be more than happy to give to you.” Hmmmmm….that would mean taking the risk to speak my trust and possibly not be liked…..
I slowly began to ask and speak what was on my mind. Not from the raw honesty of a five year old but from the tactful voice of a grown woman.
Guess what? People began to hear me. I began to receive what I needed and wanted. Over time, the fibromyalgia decreased. I would be hard pressed to be diagnosed with fibromyalgia today.
So my question to you: Do you speak your truth so others can hear you?
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